When Jeanne decided to take Zepbound, a new-generation weight-loss drug, she and her husband, Javier, had a brief conversation about it in their bedroom while getting ready for the day. The conversation was routine, as if discussing household matters, and they didn’t fully anticipate the changes it would bring to their 15-year marriage. Jeanne had struggled with her weight since fifth grade and, after a recent physical exam, was told that her fatty-liver disease was worsening. The effects of the medication were still conceptual, and Javier, a “glass half full” kind of person, was “all in” on the decision.
As Jeanne started taking Zepbound, she lost 60 pounds, and a recent liver scan showed no signs of disease. She uses words like “life-changing” and “miraculous” to describe the results. However, neither Jeanne nor Javier could have anticipated the upheaval her use of the medication would create in their marriage. They are grappling with a reevaluation of what they love about each other, how they feel when they look in the mirror, and what turns them on.
Javier, who is 53, misses the physical aspects of their relationship, including the softness of Jeanne’s body and the comfort of having it next to him. He is grieving, he says, the loss of the woman he married. As a 53-year-old, Jeanne is discovering new boundaries and asserting them in her relationships, including in the bedroom. She hasn’t wanted to have sex in at least five years, and currently, she doesn’t want to.
The couple is in individual and couples therapy, and they use the internet to find resources on rebuilding their sex life, including a three-phase curriculum for couples. Her new body is still a source of fascination for Javier, but Jeanne feels like she’s molting and hasn’t caught up to her new physical self. She wants to want to have sex, but currently, she doesn’t.
The effects of extreme weight loss on love relationships can be profound, according to experts. A 2018 Swedish study found that married couples who underwent bariatric surgery were more likely to divorce or separate, while single people were more likely to marry. As Jeanne and Javier navigate the changes, they are relearning how to communicate and set boundaries.
As they work to rebuild their sexual connection, the couple is also confronting the potential implications of weight-loss medication on their 12-year-old son’s future health. They are considering a pediatric obesity specialist and discussing the use of drugs for him. The stakes are higher now, and arguments go from 0 to 60, as they grapple with the complexities of their new reality.