One Small Thing: Put Down Your Phone and Pick Up Your Relationships
When my daughters were 6 and 10, I challenged myself to abandon my personal electronic devices (laptop, smartphone) in their presence for a month. It was inconvenient at times, but I found it increased my awareness of how much I was ignoring my kids and felt we connected more. They noticed, too, and appreciated the change.
The experience had a significant impact on my relationships with my daughters. Our conversations became more interactive and longer, and I found myself more present and attentive when interacting with them. According to the French philosopher Simone Weil, “Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.”
As my daughters grew older, I became less strict about putting away my devices, but I still made an effort to model good technology habits for them. In fact, recent research suggests that parental screen use in front of their child is associated with higher total screen time and problematic social media, video games, and mobile phone use in early adolescents. By modeling a healthier relationship with technology, I can set a positive example for my kids.
I’ve recommitted to putting down my phone and laptop when my kids enter the room, and I’ve even asked my wife to join me. By doing so, we can focus on our relationships and enjoy each other’s company without the distraction of screens. As I announced to my daughter, “I’m closing my laptop so I can fully hear it!” and she appreciated the gesture. The benefits of this simple habit are already evident, and I’m excited to continue practicing it all year.