Sometimes, You Need to Let Kids Figure Out Problems on Their Own
Parents often make the mistake of “overdoing” for their kids, resulting in “mentally weak children.” This can limit children’s mental resilience and sense of independence, according to psychiatrist and bestselling author Daniel Amen. Amen suggests that instead of fixing every problem for our kids, we should let them figure out solutions on their own.
Amen believes that highly resilient kids are more likely to become happy, successful adults. He suggests that parents should allow their kids to experience setbacks, mistakes, and other tough moments, while still providing support and love. This approach can help children develop mental toughness by solving problems.
Child psychologist Tovah Klein agrees, stating that trying to shield children from disappointment won’t help them build resilience. Instead, parents should allow their kids to experience hard moments, while letting them know they will be there to support them.
Additionally, encouraging children to help others, such as with daily chores or helping friends and classmates, can help them gain empowerment and responsibility. This can help them confidently tackle their own challenges.
Amen emphasizes the importance of not fixing every problem for our kids, saying, “If you do too much for your children, you are increasing your self-esteem by stealing theirs.” He suggests that parents should instead ask their kids what they will do about a problem, rather than fixing it for them.
By letting our kids figure out problems on their own, we can help them develop the mental resilience and independence they need to succeed in life.