Good Job, But Only Half the Story
When your child receives a good grade on a test, a simple “Good job!” may seem like a sufficient response. However, according to child psychologist Becky Kennedy, this phrase can ultimately backfire. Kennedy, a host of the “Good Inside” parenting podcast, suggests that parents should add more specific praise to show their child that their effort is valued.
In an interview on “The Tim Ferriss Show,” Kennedy emphasized the importance of building a child’s confidence to help them become more successful in life. She recommended asking follow-up questions to show interest in their work and highlighting the specific positive behaviors they demonstrated. This approach can help children internalize their abilities and develop inner efficacy, leading to a reliance on their own abilities rather than external validation.
Author Aliza Pressman, a developmental psychologist, concurred that specific praise is essential for building a child’s confidence. She suggested that parents should focus on recognizing their child’s efforts, persistence, creativity, independence, and competence.
Furthermore, Kennedy stressed the significance of self-validation in children’s development. She considers it crucial for kids to learn how to validate themselves without relying on external praise. Children who grow up reliant on external validation can become anxious and fragile, making it essential for them to develop this crucial skill.
By incorporating these parenting strategies, parents can help their children develop a stronger sense of self-confidence and better prepare them for future success.